guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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