after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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