she was so not down for the gang bang
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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