I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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