Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
