lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Congratulations! We have a period
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