I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You have to summon your inner elephant
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
