He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
