My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
And then he peed in my hair
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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