my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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