So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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