What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I could make wine with my vomit
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
PANTIES FOUND
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
