I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
