Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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