so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
