The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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