On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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