and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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