Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
