OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
