yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I wear drunk well.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
