do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
