Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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