I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
