So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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