WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am available for nakedness
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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