found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
