He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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