My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
