i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize