it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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