I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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