Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
