I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
