I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I intend to get homeless drunk
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
