I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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