Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
NoShamevember. You game?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
