my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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