so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
