I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
