his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
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Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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