I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
