The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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