There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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