Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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