Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
