I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm like, not good at living.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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