I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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