I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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