Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
