oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize