just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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