coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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