Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
