Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I am naked and annoyed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
