Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
