The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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