Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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