she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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